


Of Blades and Mirrors

by Lunar_Pull



Series: Into The Darkness [3]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 21:30:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3993538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunar_Pull/pseuds/Lunar_Pull
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seungri is caught up in his memories as he waits for the others to come home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Blades and Mirrors

 

Seungri is a young man with endless talents. He speaks three languages fluently and is working on learning Spanish. He can conjure up decadent dinners with only the barest ingredients. He is provocative and beautiful; armed with a sharp tongue usually found on people much older than him. And speaking of tongues, Seungri can give a blow job that can make a grown man weep.

 

But there’s much more to Seungri than his talents behind closed doors. He’s also sensitive, tender-hearted, and his feelings and heart are easily bruised. He has never in his life been accused of being too patient.

 

“Seungri, stop pacing.”

 

Daesung’s voice is surprisingly gentle despite the seriousness of the command. Seungri wants to feel indignant, but the taller man is wrapping his muscular arms around his waist, strong torso pressing against Seungri’s back.

 

“Pacing isn’t going to make them come back any faster.”

 

Seungri sighs. He knows that Daesung is right - that walking in useless circles around his apartment is nothing more than an exercise in futility. And yet, he just can’t bring himself to keep still.

 

It’s been nine days since Seunghyun and Jiyong took Youngbae into the City.

 

Youngbae - too pure and too damn stupid - let himself get beaten to a pulp and since there are no hospitals or doctors in Dogville, Seunghyun and Jiyong had to sneak him back to where Jiyong took him from.

 

The City. The place Seungri hates most of all.

 

“They’ve been gone for so long,” Seungri says, softly, voice devoid of his usual confident attitude. He doesn’t need to pretend when Daesung is around anymore. Daesung knows his heart. Seungri let him see the truth in a crumbling bathroom in a seedy bar, and since that night Daesung has been nothing but kind and sweet and affectionate and everything that men from Dogville are not supposed to be. Daesung has held Seungri in his arms all night, whispering encouraging white lies that Seungri knows he shouldn’t believe.

 

 _They’re coming back soon_ , Daesung has whispered, night after night, and Seungri just parts his legs and lets the taller man fuck the lie into him.

 

It doesn’t take much convincing, because the young man deals with tension and frustration by using sex and Daesung is as gorgeous as they come. Hard planes of taut, tanned muscles and a set of lips that reminds Seungri of every dirty magazine he ever jacked off to. And don’t even mention the perfect shade of auburn hair. Daesung is a gay man’s dream come true. He makes Seungri come so hard that for a moment he forgets about the emptiness in his heart. He forgets that it's just them now and who even knows when the others will come home?

 

And when Daesung isn’t making Seungri orgasm all over his apartment, he is helping to cook dinner, keeping a lookout for the boys and filling up the Seunghyun-shaped hole in his life.

 

So while usually a situation like this would make Seungri so nervous that his mind aches with constant worry, these past four days have been mild and almost romantic. Daesung has been taking such good care of Seungri and for once, Seungri lets himself be nothing more than a scared little boy who needs someone. What he was never allowed to be.

 

The past few days have been sort of nice except that Seungri’s dreams are filled with Youngbae.

 

Nightmares, really, because in them, Youngbae is always dead.

 

* * *

 

 

Admittedly, Seungri has not always been Youngbae’s biggest fan. In fact, he kind of hated him, in the beginning.

 

But somewhere along the way, despite all the energy he put into not liking him, Seungri fell for the innocent little prince from beyond the City’s walls, just like everyone else. Except for one thing. Seungri didn’t fall for the selfless saint with an infinite amount of love to dole out, like the elderly used to give out hard candies in the old days.

 

No.

 

Seungri fell for the wildness in the boy, the darkness he keeps well-hidden under the sweet exterior - the side of Youngbae that he’s pretty sure only he has seen.

 

“I can’t fucking believe you did it again,” Seungri remembers yelling at Youngbae once, searching through the cupboards for a large bag of bread that he thought he’d hidden carefully.

 

“I’m sorry,” Youngbae had apologized, but there was just a hint of a smile on his lips and Seungri knew the apology was bullshit.

 

“You are not sorry at all, pretty boy. How many times do I have to tell you not to give away our fucking food?”

 

“They are orphans, Seungri. And they’re hungry,” Youngbae had crossed his arms.

 

Seungri had been filled with a boiling anger at Youngbae and his damn gullible act. “Stop it. They are not orphans, they are a gang.”

 

“Fourteen year olds are still children -”

 

“Really?” Seungri had bared his teeth and marched right up to Youngbae, poking his finger in the smaller man’s chest. “Because no one ever called me a kid when I was that age. You know what they called me? A fucking cheap whore.”

 

Youngbae’s eyes had softened. “Is that what this is about?”

 

“No,” Seungri had exclaimed. “They might be orphans and they might be kids, but they are still part of a gang and they can still have weapons. What are they going to do the day you don’t have any food for them? You think they are just going to walk away?”

 

Youngbae had grabbed Seungri’s hand then, the one with the threatening index finger. “Are you worried about me?”

 

Seungri had wanted to protest, but it seemed that once again, Youngbae had seen past the carefully-built facade of heartlessness. “Yes," Seungri had whispered, ducking his head. "You’re too trusting, Youngbae. Someone’s going to try to hurt you.”

 

“I can take care of myself,” Youngbae had tried to soothe, soft hands cupping Seungri’s scarred face.

 

Seungri had scoffed, removing Youngbae’s hands and walking towards the other side of the apartment. He had needed to put some distance between his heart and Youngbae because the City boy somehow knew all the right things to say and it never failed to catch Seungri off-guard.

 

“I’m serious, Seungri. I am not weak.”

 

Seungri had only scoffed again, rolling his eyes in disbelief but there was a sudden change in the air; an electric sharpness that stole Seungri’s breath away.

 

It had come from Youngbae. It had come from the sudden intensity in his eyes and the deep scowl on his features. Suddenly, Youngbae had not seem like a sweet boy. He looked like a man. A pissed off one, at that.

 

He had stalked towards Seungri then, his steps measured and deliberate, licking his lips lewdly when he finally reached him.

 

“Get on your knees, Seungri,” he had commanded. Even his voice seemed to have lowered an octave.

 

Seungri’s heart hammered nervously but he’d stared down tougher guys than fucking Youngbae, for god’s sake, so he had laughed in his face instead. Seungri wasn’t ready for Youngbae to grab a tight fistful of his hair and kick his legs out from under him, making him fall gracelessly onto rough, hardwood floor.

 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Seungri had then yelped, but Youngbae only smirked and the younger boy swore that from this angle he looked just like Jiyong.

 

“Open your mouth,” Youngbae had demanded again, voice still calm and even. It wasn’t funny anymore, honestly. It made Seungri tremble in fear.

 

“Open your fucking mouth or I’ll open it for you. You don’t want me to open it for you.”

 

Seungri had hated how much he liked being ordered around, especially by everyone’s favorite innocent boy, but he was acutely aware of the blade in Youngbae’s left hand and he wasn’t going to push his luck.

 

This was the moment that Seungri had been truly lost, because as beautiful as Youngbae’s light might have been, it was nothing compared to this hint of his madness. The way his fingers pulled harshly at Seungri’s hair, the way his voice was ragged with contained fury, the way that Seungri didn’t know if this was a game or if Youngbae had snapped under the pressure of Dogville. Maybe this was just who Youngbae had always been. Didn’t people say that the devil always comes wearing a suit?

 

Seungri had closed his eyes and let his lips fall open.

 

Nothing had happened. Seungri had opened his eyes to find Youngbae, grinning sweetly once again, kneeling down in front of him.

 

“See,” Youngbae had said, the grip in Seungri’s hair loosening. “I can be just like anyone from Dogville.”

 

“Jesus fucking Christ, you scared the hell out of me,” Seungri had breathed out in relief.

 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Youngbae had said and he sounded much more honest than he had about the food. “I hate it when you’re scared. I just wanted to prove a point.”

 

Seungri recalls Youngbae’s fluttering eyes and sheepish smile, the way he had cupped his cheek delicately before offering up the best kind of apology, at least in Seungri’s mind. “Do you want to fuck me?”

 

Seungri had choked on air. He nodded wildly in response.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Seungri and Youngbae were naked on the kitchen floor and the blade in the smaller boy’s hand had been thrown far out of reach. Seungri had kissed Youngbae deeply, tongue darting in and out at the same pace as his fingers and while Youngbae let out the deepest groans and softest sighs, Seungri kept thinking about the glimpse of darkness he’d seen.

 

“Pretty boy, you’re something else, you know that?” Seungri commented as he slicked himself up with lube and positioned himself at Youngbae’s entrance.

 

“You like it,” Youngbae giggled and Seungri really wanted to fuck the laughter right out of him. “Don’t pretend that you don’t.”

 

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it. Jiyong teach you to be a bad boy?” Seungri said, the head of his cock teasing the rim of Youngbae’s entrance. He never could just push it in. Every one of Seungri’s fucks have to be a production.

 

“No. I’ve never done that before,” Youngbae had said simply while squirming, trying to entice Seungri with the gyrations of his hips.

 

“You’re fucking with me, right?” Seungri had responded with a raised eyebrow.

 

Youngbae had surged up, whispered sinfully into Seungri’s ear before sucking the lobe into his mouth for a blissful second and then positioning himself underneath again. “You’re the only one who makes me want to be bad,” was what he had whispered and Seungri had almost come right then and there because nothing could ever be more arousing than this wicked little fact. Of the four of them, Seungri was the only one who could corrupt Youngbae.

 

And now that he knew Youngbae was no delicate little flower, he was going to treat him however he wanted. “I’m going to fuck you so hard, you’re going to wish you’d never let me top.”

 

Youngbae bit his lip. “Oh yeah?”

 

“I’m going to fuck the City out of you. I’m going to fuck you so hard and so good that you’re gonna forget where you were born.”

 

“You sure do love talking about it but you haven’t - ”

 

Youngbae never finished his sentence because Seungri had chosen that very moment to bury himself to the hilt inside him and it had knocked the breath out of him.

 

Seungri had done exactly as he promised. His hips had snapped so rapidly and roughly into Youngbae that the smaller man could do nothing but cry out, his sharp, choked off moans and Seungri’s gasping breaths broke through the silence of the apartment. Seungri was in complete control, a position he never found himself in, so he relished the power and let it go to his head.

 

“Do something bad, Youngbae.”

 

Youngbae didn’t need to be told twice. He wrapped his surprisingly strong hands around Seungri’s neck and Seungri had never felt anything so good in his life. He was dying. His breath cut off by Youngbae’s thumbs, his vision became blurry and filled with black spots but _fuck_ this was exactly the way he wanted to die. Fucking the hell out of someone, just like life had fucked the hell out of him.

 

When he came, he collapsed onto Youngbae unceremoniously, sucking in large gulps of much-needed oxygen.

 

“Are you okay?” Youngbae asked, tenderness in his tone as he stroked delicate hands up and down Seungri’s back soothingly.

 

Seungri didn’t get the chance to answer because Jiyong and Seunghyun had walked into the apartment at that very moment.

 

“Well, look what we have here,” Jiyong teased, hands at his cocked hips. “Looks like there’s a couple of boys who know nothing about being patient.”

 

Youngbae had laughed from under Seungri, who was still catching his breath. Seunghyun had crouched down next to the pair, planting a soft kiss to Seungri’s temple. “Did you come, baby boy?”

 

His deep voice made Seungri’s dick twitch, which in turn made Youngbae shiver and tighten around him. It was so fucked up, but so fucking good.

 

Youngbae let out a pained gasp and Seunghyun chuckled. “He didn’t, did he?” he asked Seungri instead. “Not for lack of trying, though, I see.”

 

Jiyong stroked gentle fingers through Youngbae’s sweaty hair. “You causing trouble again?”

 

“Never,” Youngbae smirked as Seungri pulled out of him as gently as he could manage.

 

Jiyong leaned down to kiss him and when he pulled his face back, Seunghyun had been right behind him.

 

“Let me take care of him, Jiyong,” Seunghyun had requested, a devilishly handsome smile on his lips. He hadn’t waited for an answer. Just picked Youngbae up and threw him over his shoulder, carrying the naked boy into the bedroom. Seunghyun never fucked on the floor. Too grown up for shit like that.

 

“You picking up johns again, Seungri?” Jiyong had asked Seungri, motioning towards the darkening marks around his neck.

 

Seungri had caught Youngbae’s gaze right before he disappeared through the bedroom doorway and he’d actually - honest to god -  _winked_ at Seungri.

 

“No,” Seungri had shrugged before collapsing into Jiyong’s arms, still dizzy from the asphyxiation. “It’s from a dance.”

 

Jiyong didn’t look like he believed him, but he shrugged the concern away and Seungri felt a thrill ripple through his spent body. He had a dirty little secret to keep for Youngbae and he was going to take it to his grave.

 

* * *

 

 

If Youngbae is the one who hides his dark desires from his lovers than Jiyong is the one who hides how much he cares.

 

Just like with Youngbae, though, there are rare moments in which Jiyong’s true sensitive nature shines through and Seungri can’t help but be drawn to those small instances because deep down, there is nothing that he craves more than love.

 

One night that stands out in Seungri’s memories is the night he found out about Dongwook.

 

Dongwook is the owner of the bar where Daesung and Seungri work and he’s nice enough that Seungri shouldn’t hate him, but there was that one night that the young boy was dancing and he spotted Seunghyun smiling demurely at some undoubtedly stupid joke that the older man had made.

 

Jealousy - an emotion much too familiar for Seungri when it came to Seunghyun - had made its way into the pit of his stomach and although he had continued to slide up and down the pole like liquid fire, his heart clenched in his chest and he fought the tears forming in his eyes.

 

He couldn’t cry. Not here. Couldn’t ruin his stage make-up, after all.

 

“Seungri,” Jiyong’s harsh voice and fiery eyes had cut through the haze of the club and Seungri’s sadness.

 

Jiyong had grinned and snapped at the string of Seungri’s barely there underwear, slipping a bill inside. “That enough for a lap dance?”

 

It hadn’t been, but once a man kills for you, you’re kind of indebted for life and Seungri had never been one to forget. He slid down the pole and opened his legs to Jiyong. The thin man smirked in triumph as he helped him down from the stage.

 

The threadbare lounge seat Jiyong had dragged him to was far from Seunghyun and Dongwook and from his position on Jiyong’s lap, Seungri could no longer see the two men unless he made an effort. Jiyong’s hands had settled on Seungri’s ass, but his eyes had held a softness the younger boy had always thought was reserved for Youngbae.

 

“Don’t let him get to you,” Jiyong had whispered as Seungri had danced over him. “He’s being an ass.”

 

“I’m fine,” Seungri had lied, wiping a stray tear. “I just didn’t know him and Dongwook were so close.”

 

“We all have debts, Seungri. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you.”

 

Care. Not love. Not adore. Seunghyun didn't spend sleepless nights just staring at Seungri's resting, peaceful face because he couldn’t believe that someone like him had even given him the time of day. No, that kind of devotion only beat in Seungri's heart. That had become distinctly clear as Seungri snuck a glance over his shoulder and saw Seunghyun's hands dipping into Dongwook's gray trousers. Seunghyun didn’t feel for Seungri what the younger boy obviously felt for him, and though the other three boys were a worthwhile distraction, it still didn’t change that Seungri was slowly unravelling.

 

“I told you, I don’t give a shit. He’s just a good lay.”

 

Seungri had been surprised at his own steady voice but Jiyong’s hands had made their way up his back, over his shoulders and then onto his face. His thumb brushed lightly along the faint scar on his cheek that had never quite healed. “You’re both hopeless. You know that, right?”

 

“What do you want me to say?" Seungri had snapped. "That I know he’s still fucking anything that moves? That I know we’re all just his latest experiment and once he gets tired of us, he’ll move on to the next big conquest? I know we can’t keep him - ”

 

“Maybe not 'we'. Maybe just you.”

 

Seungri had sat down, pulling his face back to meet Jiyong’s eyes, still lit with a warmth and compassion that had confused the hell out of the dancer.

 

“You scare him, Seungri,” Jiyong had said, hands so soft against Seungri’s face that it almost made him forget that Jiyong had squeezed the life out of countless victims with those same hands.

 

“Why?” Seungri had asked, voice quiet and childlike. Filled with honesty.

 

“Sometimes, real love is scary.”

 

“Like you and Youngbae?” Seungri had asked, suddenly flooded with memories of all the times in bed where Jiyong had seemed to be teetering on the edge of snapping Youngbae’s neck and the smaller man had seemed ready to let him. Those times were just as unnerving as the times Seungri caught the pair staring into each other’s eyes for long, extended moments, hand in hand, smiling gently like they had all the time in the world to lose themselves in each other.

 

Jiyong had chuckled and kissed Seungri’s forehead. “Yeah, like me and Youngbae.”

 

“You think he loves me like you love Youngbae?”

 

Jiyong had grinned again, the flashing of his white teeth in the dark lighting of the bar made him look like a dangerous predator once again. “No one loves _anyone_ like I love Youngbae. It’s probably as close as you can get, though.”

 

Seungri rolled his eyes. “If he loves me so much, why is he putting his hands all over Dongwook?”

 

“His hands may be in Dongwook’s pants but ever since you’ve been on my lap, he hasn’t taken his eyes off you.”

 

Seungri had blinked rapidly in surprise. Resisted the urge to turn around and see if it was really true. “Really?”

 

Jiyong had thrust his hips a bit, signalling for Seungri to continue his dance. “He looks like he wants to kill me. So let’s give him a show, teach him a lesson. Show him what happens when you take your boy for granted.”

 

Seungri had ground his hips onto Jiyong’s crotch and smiled. “I don’t want to see you cry ever again. You got that, Seungri? Don’t let anyone - not even Seunghyun - fuck with your heart.”

 

With Seunghyun’s eyes on him, Seungri rolled his hips and arched his back, giving Jiyong his all, and though he knew his heart was set on Seunghyun, Seungri couldn’t help but fall a little bit more in love with Jiyong, too.

 

* * *

 

 

There’s a reason Seungri loves Seunghyun most of all and it’s more than the fact that he’s the oldest, more than the way his intense eyes make Seungri melt, more than the way he always lets Seungri ride him indulgently.

 

It’s all those things and more. It’s the way that Seungri feels like he can’t even truly breathe until Seunghyun is in the room. The way Seunghyun lets him crumble in his hands and somehow puts the shattered pieces of Seungri back together.

 

When Seungri stares in the mirror, he doesn’t see what the other four men seem to see. He doesn’t see beauty or charm, he doesn’t see a sharp jawline and kissable lips. Seungri sees a disgusting creature -a frail boy with nothing more to offer than an imperfect, scarred-up face for men to come on. He sees a monster.

 

He sees the City, no matter how long ago he had left it. After all, Youngbae sees it. He asked him about it one day when they were on the rooftop of Seungri’s apartment building, staring at the pale blue lights that line the City’s seemingly impenetrable walls.

 

“Why did you leave the City, Seungri?” Youngbae had asked, eyes full of sympathy and curiosity alike.

 

Seungri had sucked in a sharp breath, betraying himself. He always did have a knack for that. “How did you know?”

 

“The books were the first clue. People from Dogville usually can’t read.”

 

Youngbae had reached out and grabbed Seungri’s hand, undeterred by the silence the former prostitute had fallen into. “Please tell me.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because, I love you," Youngbae had responded, like it was all so simple and obvious. "I want to know everything about you.”

 

Seungri had wanted so badly to tell Youngbae everything, but there are scars that run so deep not even angels can heal them so, instead, he lied and promised to tell him later.

 

But how could he? How could Seungri tell anyone that he was actually the son of a prominent politician from the City? That at twelve years old, he had been kicked out of his home for kissing a boy and series of unfortunate events led him to lead a life of a beggar in Dogville before he discovered the power of his pretty face?

 

 _Formerly_ pretty face.

 

Now, there is a scar on Seungri’s cheek that still aches no matter how softly Youngbae or Daesung kiss it. His face was all he had and now he is fractured. Ugly.

 

Seunghyun doesn’t seem to mind.

 

“Baby boy, you’re so beautiful,” Seunghyun whispered when he had lifted Seungri onto the kitchen table a few days before the night of Youngbae’s attack.

 

“Yeah, whatever,” Seungri had scoffed, baring his neck to give Seunghyun more access to his neck. “I’m no Dongwook.”

 

“Who?” Seunghyun eyes had blinked in confusion and he suddenly seemed so much younger than his age and it made Seungri’s heart flutter.

 

“You know, the owner of the bar," Seungri had said, failing to keep the passive aggressive tone from his voice. "The guy whose pants you had your hand down earlier this week?”

 

Seunghyun had grinned. “Oh, him. Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”

 

Seungri had pushed Seunghyun away from him. “I’m not jealous," Seungri responded, irritation coloring his words. "It’s just….he’s really handsome, is all. I was just pointing it out.”

 

The tall man had frowned a bit before stepping closer to Seungri again. “You’re a total babe, Seunghyun. You know that.”

 

Seungri had shivered; Seunghyun almost never used his real name. But his insecurities were still raging in his head and he only shrugged.

 

“Baby boy,” Seunghyun had held Seungri’s chin in his left hand, delicately. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing,” Seungri took a deep breath. “I know what I look like. I know it must disgust you to look at my face so it’s really no wonder you’re after such a pretty boy.”

 

Seunghyun’s fingered tightened around Seungri’s chin. “First off, that hag is old fucking news and I am not interested in him. Second off, scar or not, you’re the most beautiful boy in the entire goddamn world and I never want to hear you tear yourself down like that.”

 

Seunghyun’s voice was strained with anger but when Seungri’s eyes had begun to water, the older man placed the lightest kiss on his forehead and took a deep breath before continuing. “If you think that your face has anything to do with your beauty then you are a fool.”

 

Seungri choked on a sob. “I’m hideous,” he wailed, finally letting himself break down.

 

Seunghyun held him tightly. He’d whispered that Seungri was beautiful over and over again, and between the soft lips pecking at his face and the thin fingers wiping away his tears, Seungri had almost believed him.

 

“I know it hurts, baby boy,” Seunghyun had said quietly, still holding Seungri tightly even after his sobs had subsided. “I know, because you and me are the same. I knew it when I first saw you and I swear, sometimes I can’t even tell where I end and you begin.”

 

Seungri had looked into Seunghyun’s eyes then and he had finally understood.

 

“So believe me when I tell you that I understand you. We’re the same, aren’t we, Seunghyun?” Seunghyun had said and Seungri had only had half a second to register that the older man held a sharp, cutting knife in his hand before he was holding it up to his own face and slicing his own cheek.

 

His left cheek. The same side as Seungri’s scar.

 

Seungri had gasped and held his hand up to the wound, blood spilling from Seunghyun’s face onto his hands. The older man had only smiled in the face of Seungri’s panicked shouts. He had made them into mirror images and that was how Seungri knew that he truly adored him, too.

 

Matching scars. Matching hearts.

 

That was the night Seungri learned how terrifying true love can be. And how fucking beautiful.

 

* * *

 

 

When Daesung sleeps, Seungri lies awake next to him, staring at his distinctively attractive features.

 

Seungri used to think Daesung was hot as hell, but really only a present for Youngbae. He thought he’d be gone soon enough. Now, though, after everything that has happened, Seungri realizes that Daesung is the missing piece to their eclectic puzzle.

 

Youngbae was losing it, Seungri could tell. He was walking the thin line between sexy and dangerous every time he begged Seungri to let him do something more outrageous than the last time they had sex. With Daesung around, Youngbae is back to being all soft glances and innocent little requests. _Let’s all sleep under the stars_ , he begs now, instead of _fuck my mouth ‘til I can't breathe_.

 

Daesung helps Jiyong, too. He helps him shoulder all the responsibility he places on himself for their well-being. He even makes Jiyong smile sometimes.

 

Seunghyun and Daesung have a connection that Seungri cannot share because the older man doesn’t need to protect Daesung; their love is equal and temperate, largely based on their strange sense of humor that no one else seems to relate to. And the way they fuck like champions.

 

Seungri isn’t jealous, surprisingly. He knows now, more than ever, that he doesn’t have to worry about Seunghyun abandoning him. Besides, Seungri likes Daesung. He loves him, sure, but he also really, really _likes_ him. He gets all giddy when the older boy does something romantic and sweet, he swoons at his amazing figure and sighs at his perfect kisses.

 

Daesung is the piece that makes them all fall together. They are stronger as five.

 

“You awake?” Seungri asks out loud and Daesung smiles with his eyes still closed.

 

“How’d you know?” Daesung laughs when he finally opens his eyes and Seungri wishes he had met him when they were both still teenagers. He bets Daesung had fluffy, long hair and an even sweeter smile.

 

“You’re not a good actor,” Seungri teases, burying himself in muscular arms.

 

“Can’t sleep, huh?” Daeasung murmurs in Seungri’s ear, voice even huskier than usual.

 

“I miss them, Daesung. When will they come home?”

 

“Soon, Seungri. They’ll be home soon.”

 

Seungri sighs and tries to will himself to sleep. He thinks that if they don’t come back, he’ll be truly, irrevocably heartbroken.

 

But at least Daesung will be there. There is always some light in the darkness, even in Dogville.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Two days later, Seunghyun opens the front door to Seungri’s apartment.

 

Seungri’s breath catches in his throat at the sight of Seunghyun - deep bags of exhaustion under his eyes and fading scar on his left cheek - holding Youngbae at his side. The smaller boy winces with each step he takes and his left arm is in a cast and brace, but he’s on his own two feet and his face is a map of fading bruises instead of angry red, fresh wounds.

 

Daesung takes Youngbae from Seunghyun’s arms and even in his immense relief, Seungri can’t help but notice the sick irony of the fact that their positions are reversed from the last time they were all standing in this very room.

 

Seungri catches Seunghyun’s eyes and the weak smile he gives him fills his heart with joy, until he realizes that there are no other set of footsteps coming down the hallway.

 

Jiyong isn’t with them.

 

Seungri opens his mouth to ask but Seunghyun shakes his head, understanding his intention, and motions with his chin at Youngbae. He opens his arms to Seungri and the young boy takes the opening, hugs Seunghyun hard enough to make the tall man gasp.

 

“I’ll tell you about it later, okay?” Seunghyun whispers and kisses the top of Seungri’s head.

 

“I missed you so much, handsome,” Seungri confesses and holds Seunghyun tighter.

 

“I know, baby boy. I missed you, too.”

 

Relief. Joy. Utter, all-emcompassing sorrow. Seungri doesn't even know the difference anymore. For now, all that matters is that Seunghyun and Youngbae are home. Somehow, Seungri knows they'll be five again soon enough.

 

If not in this life, then the next.

 

 


End file.
